Enough With the Book Reports Already!

Dearest Teacher,

Let me be the first to say that I never do homework (or projects) for my kids.  Believe me, I’ve been asked.

In all of my leftover high school nerdiness, I stand firm on them doing their own work, and will walk away if the words, “Can’t you just do it for me, pleeeeeeaaassse?” come out of either child’s mouth.

That doesn’t mean I won’t help though, because after all, I’m the Mom. And I’m a team player.

I should also be clear that this Mom does NOT raise procrastinators. We are the very best at time management and never (okay, seldom) cram to do things at the last minute.

Truth be told, “last minute” isn’t even an option when there are books to read, supplies to be bought, props or costumes be made, scripts to be written and speeches to practice.

I fully respect and understand the need for such presentations (remember, I majored in nerd), but after six fourth grade monthly book reports, I’m exhausted and my wallet is empty.

I’m not sure how many times I can stress to my 10-year-old that you give him the worksheet as a way to construct the report. Or, in plain English, whatever he writes in those little boxes should be part of the speech itself.

I’m also not sure how many times I can coach him away from starting a speech with, “Imagine that you…” before he gets it.

And while his speeches may sell his fourth grade cohorts on reading his book, they cause agita in any man or woman who has made a sales pitch in his or her adult life.

Finally, I never steer my kid away from a vision. His vision, coupled with a brother (and mother) who toes (or crosses) the line of being perfectionists, can cost the big bucks.

So far this year, we have made a diorama, a football jersey, a football helmet, a crossword puzzle (printed for 24 students) and a very large poster with 20 printouts of clues to name a few.

You can see how this adds up for both the pockets and the soul.

The good news is that we will be masters of the book report before we ever lay a foot in the fifth grade. The better news is that I may be able to craft our new home out of the book report props you sent back home to us.


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